The dilemma of the novice ice climber is that sharp tools are easier to use, but also better at cutting the rope. Supposedly it’s rare to actually cut through the rope with an ice pick or a crampon, but I have many talents and what if this is one of them? Falling is even worse since you have less control over the location of the rope relative to sharp metal. The solution according to our expert climbing guides with decades of experience? Just don’t fall.

All things considered, ice climbing itself is pretty fun, especially since there aren’t any tiny crimps or awkward side pulls involved. The handle of an ice pick is much easier to pull on than real rock in most cases. That is, until it unexpectedly pops out of the ice because you didn’t swing it in with enough force.

After two days in a very safe environment with a guide, I must admit that I don’t see a lot of ice climbing in my future. It feels like much less of a puzzle than bouldering or roped climbing, because you mainly just whack the ice until your tool sticks, step up, and do it again. There’s a little more nuance than that but not much. The main complication in the sport comes from being able to judge ice quality based on weather conditions and a million other things, because iced-over waterfalls aren’t permanent. Which is terrifying. I’d rather stick to the huge granite walls and sandstone cracks that don’t disappear every year for several months.